Is it when you dress up, wear cute clothing, and have some arm candy on your arm?
Do relationship cards at Dollar Tree intrigue you so you buy them for your *future relationship*?
Or do you feel it?
Let’s Get Into It
When you think you’re ready, but it’s a mess
At 25, I can confidently say Chan is ready. Now at 23, I thought I was ready, but nah, a few more character development moments had to occur.
Because Chan indeed was not ready.
However, now at 25. I know I am ready, not because I feel my body is ready or I have time, etc.
No, because my mind is ready. I’ve talked to God, and I’ve developed myself in private so I can share myself with someone. Cliché?
What does the development look like
I can’t give you a full-blown tip guide or a prayer because it’s not 1-2-3, same, repeat.
My prayer for a husband can’t be the same for you because we’re all looking for something different.
You may desire the man who brings you flowers every day, and I may desire the man who spends Sunday riding bikes and going for long walks.
Our relationship style is different.
And that’s okay.
Social media antics
Turning a cheek to social media relationship gurus was key for me.
While I truly believe everyone has their opinion and wants to give guidance on building relationships. Everyone is not an expert.
I am not an expert.
We all have personal experiences that can dictate relationship experiences.
So, no I don’t believe we should take advice from social media.
Now, the cutesy quotes and comments may be handy and apart of the assignment, aka the gentle reminders on the side of the textbook.
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Everything in this world is calculated unless
It’s true.
There is a man at the garden twirling a key. No particular shape, quite big though.
He’s debating on what to do with this key; he can either set it back down and let someone else take it, or he will listen to the whispers that’re telling him to take the key and to follow the instructions on the back of the key.
The instructions are as follows:
Do not open this door if you are not ready.
Do not open this door if you are not ready.
Do not open this door if you are not ready.
It repeated in his head over and over again.
He wasn’t a slow man, though…
He wasn’t a fool.
He knew that if he set the key back down, he would never know what was on the other side of that door, and he liked how holding the key felt.
A different sense of power, a different sense of confidence. There was value even in the key without knowing what was behind the door.
He wasn’t a fool, though…
He had to think carefully.
He had to be mindful.
“Take the risk, there’s always something you never knew you needed on the other side… whether it’s a lesson or a blessing. Use the key.”
Fear wasn’t a thing he thought about.
Fear was something he crumbled in his mind.
Fear was something he knew wasn’t from the whispers.
There’s a man in a garden looking for his,
searching for his, trying to find his, trying to figure out his, but most men are given a key.
A key with instructions, a key with guidance, a key with instructions.
Some men will drop the key, some men will take the key and not return it.
Some men will even break the key and pack it up in bandages.
Some men never even get to see the key.
However …some men.
Will take the key, place it in the knob, and unlock the gate.
The gate to the hidden garden.
The gate that leads them to glory, to love, to abundance, to peace, to glory, to love, to peace.
It takes a man, though, sure of himself, confident, ready to do that…
It takes a certain kind of man willing to turn a key in a knob to unlock the heart of his life, his soul, his ultimate power. The part that needed meddling, the part that needed a little extra healing. The part that feeds his soul.
As he turns the knob, he says to himself, “This all feels too familiar, this all feels too familiar.”
The hidden garden all along was just his own conscience, but with better sense, better understanding, better “oh yeah, now I see”.
With that came his prize…
He didn’t know he was going to get a prize, though; he just thought that he was going to be able to go inside the garden and pick whatever, but the whispers said nope! We have one more thing for you.
Butterflies erupted through the sky, in bold colors, different sizes, and different shapes.
It flustered him, didn’t see that coming.
In one swoop, they’re gone, but there’s one left.
It’s very unique, possibly a monarch, maybe not, but it has different stripes, and it’s familiar.
It’s resting on a flower, he goes up to touch it… the butterfly moves a tad bit away ..not too far away but gently moves over.
He goes in with a smoother approach, less noticeable, less aggressive, less intense.
He pokes it, accidentally…. (Maybe)
And the butterfly flies completely AWAY.
So he thought…
As he makes his way through the garden, touching and exploring different plants and flowers, he eventually finds himself resting on a stump in the garden with his head hung low and his wonders in the whispers.
He had made it to the hidden garden, used the key, explored the different plants, but still felt like he was missing something.
Why was he chosen to be there?
Why was he there?
Why was he called there?
He kept pondering, kept pondering. Minutes had gone by, hours had gone by, even days, possibly even a few months.
He was content, though.
Very happy.
Quite satisfied with the hidden garden, but he felt he was not getting it yet.
One day, he decided to close his eyes and get some rest.
Rest was always needed, smoothed the body, calmed the mind. Good power-up charge.
He awakens, gently opens his eyes, and there goes that butterfly with the weird stripes that felt familiar – flying over him.
The butterfly landed gently on his nose, going cross-eyed, he finally looked at it fully and immediately smiled.
When he went to touch it this time, because of course, he had to try that again …. curious mind.
This approach was more delicate, more deliberate, and more aligned. He knew not to poke the butterfly unless he was more careful, more cautious, more confident, and rested up.
As soon as he placed his finger on the butterfly, it transformed right before his eyes into a human.
A woman, to be exact.
He recognized her, her nose, her eyes, her lips, her hair, her everything.
When he touched her, he felt his spirit light up, he felt his body warm, his eyes soften, his soul full.
He grabbed her hand, “Don’t leave me again”.
It was that one song by Kendrick.
With Love,
C.Alilijah