I need a soldier.
A protector.
Not just a provider but someone who brings security.
Personal bodyguard.
Let’s Get Into It
The confident woman saga
To be a confident woman. I talked about this a few days ago. I said that people hate when you love yourself, cherish yourself, and build yourself with morality, intelligence, peace, and love. You’re a target for the weak.
Men and women will attempt to dismantle you.
It’s the men that’s shocking
When a man is jealous of a woman…
When a man is intimidated by a woman…
You know when a woman is bothered by another woman. Most likely, it’s because she has something she wishes she had.
But when a man is bothered by a woman?
What do you call that?
That’s spiritual warfare
Because, baby, your spirit is bothering this man. He doesn’t want to be you, in the looks department, and he probably doesn’t want your closet.
He wants your spirit. He wants to grab hold of that and dissect it.
When you peep the “red flag” position yourself right on up out of there.
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The test given by God
I feel like God is a test giver. He’ll give you scenarios, back to back to back to back to see if you’re truly ready for that next step.
He’ll give you the same scenario over and over again to see if you finally learned the lesson.
I’ll give you an example.
Say you’re hanging out with someone and you feel a “vibe”.
They’re laughing with you, may even share a meal or two with you, but there’s something there.
“An invisible wall”
You can never feel overly comfortable with them. Your spirit can’t because something is there.
Can you announce your good news comfortably, or are you shy because you feel they’re not going to be happy for you?
Do you feel comfortable expressing your truth to them, or are you afraid an argument may break out?
Are you being the “total you” around them, or are you hiding your personality to avoid disapproval?
The first test
It comes in threes, maybe fours if you’re one of the ones.
The first test can be one of the following categories:
- Mental
- Emotional
- Physical
- Spiritual
What’s the cheapest shot someone can take at you?
Most likely mental. They make comments about you.
Make you think about it for a bit.
The verbal attack.
Ah, that didn’t work, let’s try number 2
Emotionally, this is where it gets tricky.
They may not emotionally hurt you, but they may manipulate you into feeling emotional about them to keep you in with them.
Do you see how tricky that is?
It keeps you wired in. Interlocked.
It’s still an attack because it’s not genuine. It’s just an attempt to continue the connection.
You feel obligated to stay beside them so you can continue to receive their abuse.
Next step, the messy one
The spiritual one.
Doubt your reality, doubt your thoughts, or better yet, they’ll start using God as their base.
But the whole time, there’s no God anywhere near them. The mental, emotional attacks aren’t working, so now they have to try to get you to think y’all are on the same level.
Who doesn’t want to be on the same page as God?
It’s the typical move.
“Be as relatable as possible. Keep them close. Let them know we’re listening to God as well.”
But it’s not God because the devil can sound familiar, too.
It’s time to get physical
You still haven’t cracked yet? Huh?
You still walk around with your head held up, your titles, nice clothes, pretty smile, and you’re upgrading gradually as well?
Oh baby!
Let me knock you down.
Physically.
Teach you a lesson.
I’ll use every test in one and physically push you down so you know, I mean, big business.
I can’t let you shine.
You’re too confident.
I could stop there
I can stop there.
It took 26 years of my life for it to click for me.
It took 26 years of my life for me to realize, “Those are tests they talk about.”
Sure, I took the SAT. MEAP in grade school, but baby, those tests of life…
They can leave scars.
That heal.
See, you’re not just confident, you’re also in alignment
With God, and that’s the “problem”.
These people see something in you that they can’t see in themselves because it’s not meant for them.
That’s a connection. That’s a wire between God and you.
It’s alignment.
Don’t let anybody dismantle your alignment.
Do you see how powerful it is?
Do the attacks make sense now? Do the scars? The moments of, “What did I even do to receive this poison?” Make sense now?
The distance? Silent treatments? Ghosting?
Does it make sense now?
The lack of congratulations? The lack of acknowledgement? The lack of loyalty and respect?
Does it make sense now?
You’re truly never crazy. You’re truly never wrong about how you feel.
Too early? Sure, but never be late.
Know the tests, know the people, and never relate.
Stay true to you
Hold onto you. Be brave enough for you. Embrace you.
Protect you.
With love,
C.Alilijah