I failed my hair.
A few months ago, I said I would tell my hair journey, and here we are.
Where do I even start? In 2021, I finally accepted my hair, embraced it, just for me to do this thing.
Don’t we all have humbling hair experiences?
Sigh.
Let’s Get Into It
“I love that color, let’s experiment”
Scrolling on Pinterest, per usual, around 2022, and saw a hair color that made me fall in love. Lowkey, it may have been Twitter, before it became X.
Anyway, I loved that burnt orange, reddish color. I wanted to try it.
“I don’t think you should dye your hair right now if you like how it looks,” she said, something along those lines.
My cousin, my natural hair cousin, who is speaking from experience.
I waited a year.
Turning 23, wanted to be edgy
My birthday was coming up, and I wanted to step into that chapter with a new hair color.
I booked the appointment at some random shop in Rochester Hills. I trusted these people; they were the “pros”.
“We can’t achieve that color unless you bleach your hair.”
The first warning.
“Well, can you tint it a bit?”
The hair was dyed enough.
Too bad, I wanted that sexy orange, and they ruined my birthday plans with that drab color.
The concert
It’s July 2023, over a month after my birthday.
The Renaissance Tour was coming.
Perfect opportunity to try this again.
“Does this hairstylist, whom I’ve never met, dye hair?”
“Yeah, here’s her number.”
Appointment booked.
Showed her the color, and the look was set.
She ate down.
Too bad I ate crumbs
I bleached my hair, well, got it bleached.
*Not thinking about it because my hair was so cute.”
But now it’s time for the curls because I don’t wear my hair bone straight.
Did I also get a silk press?
Rocking the fro, not moisturizing, not adding the extra care, just going with the flow. Yes, I was warned.
No new routine, just washing, using my regular products, and putting it in a top bun.
Color fading by December of that year, time for a protective style.
I got my regular
New colored twists in my head, I loved them. My regular stylist always eats.
Lazy, leaving the braids in for too long, not oiling my scalp, just going with the flow until it was time to take them down.
It’s about February now.
I left twists latched in my colored hair for almost three months with no oil regimen.
What the H, E DOUBLE HOCKEY STICK WAS I DOING?
The take down
Clumps of hair. I had a bag full of hair.
My hair.
But ya know, I didn’t realize it until it was time to put that hair in that top bun.
*moment of silence*
Rocking the fro again
It looks different; the color is fading pretty badly. It’s getting too light, too blonde, I look crazy, but who cares?
I single-handedly destroyed my own hair, but what the hey!
“You need to dye your hair back black.”
I mean, cool, why not? Half of it is at the local dump anyway.
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“Wait, this looks different”
When I dyed my hair back black, it began to shine again, but it was obviously shorter, and the curl texture was different. My juicy curls were no more.
While I was happy to dye my hair back black to gain strength, I was also starting an ambassador program with a local fashion organization.
I knew the reason why my hair looked like it did, and I know that no one else around me did, but I sorta felt that it made my time in that space very stereotypical in terms of “natural beauty.”
And honestly, it was just a learning experience. Not everyone has to understand me or accept me, and that’s fine. It was an eye-opener to the fashion world.
I moved on with grace and still had a great time. If anything, I am just glad I stuck with it and never let my hair stop me.
I ended up getting faux locs as a protective style after the event in June 2024, but I was afraid to straighten my hair with heat.
I haven’t put heat on my hair since 2023, only by blow-drying for my faux locs or twists.
Going with it
It took months to figure out what I was doing.
The black faded, my tips were brown, and my curls still weren’t strong.
Let’s not get into the protein treatment era of summer 2025. Very tragic.
It’s true, I cut my hair… a little
Maybe a lot, but it was the fall of 2025. My hair wasn’t growing, and I needed a solution.
Get rid of the dead ends.
I did it myself. Kinda tacky, kinda messy, but it had to be done.
And I went back to my roots, twist outs and braids outs every night. I had to! That top bun mess wasn’t working.
I am protecting my crown this time
Woo, maybe two years later? Three? I’ve finally kinda… grown my hair back to structure.
My hair is currently in a battle with shinkage big time, but my curls got their juice back when I wash. My curls can finally hold a product.
Now, I am still in the process of finding solid products, oils, but I can confirm that I do moisturize my scalp in 2026.
*Round of applause*
Learning to love your hair at every stage
Just like we care for our bodies and our skin, we have to do the same for our hair.
I had to learn that my crown is my protection, and I have to be careful and mindful of how I treat it.
So, if doing my hair every night is needed, then so be it.
I learned the hard way, but I am proud of the process.
Why am I telling this story
I look at my hair and smile.
No, it’s not the big afro yet, or the big juicy flowing curls, but my hair is stronger, and my shrinkage is just an example.
I know that this summer, calls for protective styles and no protein treatments.
My hair journey has been an experience, but I cherish it because I gained more than I lost.
The hair does grow back.
Let’s Talk About It
Do you have a humbling hair experience?