Another year to become your highest self, are you ready?
Last year, we dug into the concept of becoming the “total you”, meaning stepping into a space where you embrace your uniqueness, your style, your personality in its full capacity. This year, we’re still on that.
Becoming the “total you” is not easy. It’s a constant decision every day to show up and show out in your best form that suits you – no one else.
Are we truly in our “total you” era?
Let’s Get Into It
What does the “total you” mean?
As I’ve stated before, the “total you” is the individual who is not afraid to seek and embrace their individuality, background, personality, style, and show up as that person daily.
The “total you” is free, they’re an individual who lives by their own rules, choices and is not influenced by the masses.
She’s not just a rebel or a nonconformist, but she’s a woman who has embraced what makes her unique.
She’s not afraid to show up as HER.
How do you become the “total you”
Becoming the “total you” involves connecting with your inner being. Who are you when no one is watching? What hobbies bring you joy? Can you describe yourself using 6-10 adjectives?
Being the “total you” is not easy because most times, the person you truly are behind closed doors can be deemed as “weird” or “not cool” in daily life. You can be an extrovert, but in a job that forces you to be an introvert.
You like house music, but all your friends enjoy rap.
Despite daily life putting a lot of pressure on us to perform for others and be that person everyone else wants us to be, learning the “total you” can save you a lot of heartache, money and energy.
It starts with mindset
At 25 years old, I have no desire but to be anyone else but Chandra. I know I am not a popular girl, I know I am not a woman who enjoys going to the club or having a million men after them.
I prefer to stay in on the weekends, crafting, building my brand, eating charcuterie boards and drinking wine with my mom. That’s me accepting what makes me – ME.
Don’t get me wrong, I still, every once in a while, may grab a drink at the bar and hang out with friends, but I prefer to be in the house nowadays or at least in spaces that are for growth.
Now, 21-year old Chandra may not have agreed with that. I spent a lot of my early years going out, having fun at the club and bars, Landshark and Deluxx Fluxx probably saw me one too many times, but over time, my mindset changed.
Change is good.
As you grow, you change. You should change. Change is good because it means you’re maturing, you’re developing into your total self.
Even at 25, I can confidently say that I know by 30, my growth and who I am will only improve.
It starts with mindset. Once you find yourself no longer liking the club, aka me just standing around looking crazy, it’s okay to say, “This isn’t me anymore.” I find more comfort in being home. You start to realize that it’s better to be honest with yourself than to please others or do things just because.
The “total you” is intentional
She’s an intentional woman… meaning not only does she fully accept what she likes and what she doesn’t, but she’s careful.
Careful with her words, how she carries herself, how she treats others. Being an intentional woman is key to a life of becoming the “total you” .
You’re no longer just doing things for the sake of “I am young,” you’re more so moving at the rate of “hmm, I am not sure if that aligns with me.”
Once you find yourself in that alignment, you know what it feels like to finally know where you’re headed and you don’t want to lose yourself on that path because alignment feels good.
Alignment feels like being at the right place at the right time and actively feeling alive there. Actively feeling like God positioned me there for a reason.
As you develop into the “total you”, alignment is the next priority in keeping yourself sane.
The “total you” brings peace
What does true peace feel like, Chandra?
Baby, it feels like waking up every morning blessed and in bliss because life feels at ease.
You don’t have to be rich, you don’t have to be in the best position of work or have the fanciest things around you, but knowing you have peace is priceless.
Peace doesn’t have a price tag.
Peace is not having to worry about what people think about you, what they say about you or how you’re perceived because the only voice you care and hear is God’s voice. The only voice that can make or break you is YOUR voice.
Peace feels like waking up every day and feeling calm. You may not have your dream job yet, but you’re content – not settling.
You’re content because you can show up to work every day as yourself, styled as you want, around people who support you or simply leave you alone.
Once you start to know you, what you like, what you can tolerate and what you won’t, you start to let go of what doesn’t go align anymore.
It’s a blessing to be able to identify how it feels when something is no longer aligned with you – it disrupts your progress, your moves, you’re angry, you don’t want to eat, you don’t feel good, every day feels like you’re trying super hard to make it work, but you still feel unfilled.
That’s you not operating in the “total you”, it’s you operating out of struggle and what society is telling you.
Get out of that mindset and find you.
Go where you can be YOU, effortlessly.
Find what truly keeps you in the “total you”
For me, it’s fashion and creativity. I can always count on a good outfit to make me feel good, to make me feel like I am in my power.
I can always count on a creative project to keep me motivated to keep going because, boy, do I love a finished project created by me.
To be the “total you”, it requires you to know and execute your hobbies, plans, interests and to hold onto them.
It took me years to finally get back into paper crafting. I was so used to everything being digital that I forgot that my first passions were drawing, painting, coloring, using glue and scissors, not design software.
When you’re developing the “total you,” you have to know your foundation, the parts of your past that brought you success, happiness and completeness.
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Is the “total you” connected to your inner child?
For years, I hated the phrase, “inner child.” I felt it was so stereotypical and so social media, but after I found myself doing paper crafts, coloring, drawing and going back to those creative roots.
I felt like a kid again.
The Chandra I was when I was 8 years old, just making stuff. And that’s not to say I began to behave like a child, but the joy I had while during those projects came back and it made me feel like “me”.
Life will always throw you in so many different ways, so many “eras”.
However, when you’re in alignment with being the “total you”, you begin to realize you can always count on yourself to bring you back to the positive things that made you an imaginative, creative kid with passion, fueled to succeed, and be iconic.
The “total you” is iconic
While it all may sound crazy or just another blogger trying to pursue you to truly adapt to your highest being.
Being the “total you” is you adapting to being your highest self.
It calls for you to know yourself, love yourself and truly go back to your foundation and embrace it. Look at old photos from your childhood and reflect on those moments, the good ones, even the bad ones – let them go.
Find the peace in your daily life, remove and move on from what doesn’t bring you joy – let it go.
Be surrounded by individuals who accept your individuality, enhance it, and let go of the folks who no longer align.
And that is easier said than done, but always allow yourself to push forward and just be you. Life is too short to be someone else or to let anyone dictate who you are.
Grow close to God, and know that becoming the “total you” is a free journey that starts with you.
Let’s Talk About It
Are you truly in your “total you” era?