Fall is the perfect season for evolution.
As you grow and move through society, you encounter new jobs, people, and outcomes that can distance you from your inner being. While every opportunity is a chance to grow, heal, reflect and succeed, you want to be able to maintain the total you because society can teach you to conform.
Before you go further in this post, know I’m a nonconformist. I don’t conform to society norms and I do my own thing.
Let’s get into it:
What is the “total you”?
The version of you who accepts what they have to offer, who accepts their background, accepts their style and places these qualities together to build them as an individual in society.
The “total you” is the person who’s not afraid to show up unapologetically, embrace their skills, their culture and effortlessly be that person who they wanna be.
How I have gotten to my total self
Since post-college, I’ve dabbled in developing my “total self”. I’ve tried different careers, developed my style, and have learned what I truly like and what I don’t.
It’s a moving process, meaning it’s not always so cut and dry. Sometimes, I do find myself asking, “Hmm, am I being the total Chan?” Because I have created my individuality off my style, career and how I carry myself.
And as a 25-year-old, I’m always experiencing something new. I meet new people daily, find myself wanting to dabble in new things weekly, and each season I am always trying to revamp my fashion.
However, what keeps me grounded is knowing my foundation and staying grounded, so I don’t lose myself.
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Breaking it down: Total You
Know your foundation
Think about your background, where do you come from? Who are your parents? What state or city did you grow up in? Understand why you grew up there.
What are some things you grew up believing? What are some things that make you different than most?
Understanding where you come from, and your foundation, is key to a life in your total self because a variety of elements can shape your beliefs, opinions and tactics in this world.
It’s okay to examine what makes you different.
The total you starts with your career path
Where you decide to spend your time and talent is the most important aspect in developing the total you.
Your career is what you contribute to society. Some people exercise their desire to help others by joining the medical field, some want to build by manufacturing cars in the automobile industry. Everyone has their own exercise to execute in society.
How do you find yours?
Some people attend trade school to learn a new skill, or go to college to develop a career, and others take the chance on their own path – entrepreneurship.
Everyone’s journey will look different because we all may consume the same foods, music, and materials, but we don’t all experience society the same way. That’s how you start defining the total you.
Who you surround yourself with matters
The people around you can contribute positively and negatively to defining the total you.
You can be around insecure people who put limiting beliefs on themselves that rub off on you or you can be around others who seek individuality and encourage you to maintain yours.
Always be mindful of who you invest in and why as well, so you don’t find yourself losing yourself to fit in.
How you show up in the world
What are you wearing daily? A uniform or your groovy cheetah print blouse with the ruffled sleeves? To tap into your total self, how are you showing up?
Are you wearing what you truly want to wear? Are you showing up as her or him?
What does your walk say when you walk into a room?
Is it confidence or are you dragging your feet? To become the total you, you need to examine the things you are doing and ask yourself, “Does this represent the total me or am I allowing society to carry me through?”
Okay, Chan, who cares about this?
We live in a technology-driven society that pressures us to conform. A society driven by what you see on media, broadcasts, and the internet.
To truly succeed in this society, understand yourself and be able to show up as the total you in every instance or this world can steal your foundation and leave you afloat.
For some people, that can be just alright. They may not care, but I know that I want to live a life that Chandra dictated, not the media.
The benefits of knowing the total you
A job can’t define you. A title doesn’t define you. You define yourself.
While experiences and elements can contribute to developing the total you, they shouldn’t break you or make you lose sight of who you are.
Coming from personal experience and only being around for 25 years, I’ve truly held back in being the total Chan out of fear. However, over time I’ve found myself embracing her because she’s not quiet, and she’s not a robot. She’s a woman who loves the color pink, bakes cupcakes, loves tacos and enjoys going to Kaytranada concerts and dancing like she’s in an early 2000 coming-of-age story.
Once I was prompted with the statement, “It’s okay for you to be a writer, baker, a journalist, a fashionista, those are qualities that make you – YOU. I realized that the only one holding me back from my true power was me.
Society wants me to show up as the total Chan, but I can’t let society dictate who she looks like and I shouldn’t stop myself from being her either, out of fear of judgment.
I stand in my power by giving society what I want them to see as the total Chan, bits of my joy for writing, creativity expressed in my small business, or my love for fashion with DiaryofChan.
You can be the total you in this society; just show up and execute.