Is it just pretty dresses and soft mannerisms?
Or is it soul work that reflects in your everyday life?
Oh darling, you’ve stumbled upon a gem
Becoming a lady
Where have I been? Have I been starving my blogger babes? Not giving them sweet reminders, messages, or their monthly boost of confidence.
I’ve been in a reflection period. July was an okay month for me. Very busy, trying new things, and really reflecting on how I can grow into the individual that God wants me to be.
As I sit in my backyard this very nice Friday, not too cool, not too hot. Just right, I think to myself.
Well, I’ve been thinking about it for a few hours now.
How do you become a lady?
Is it her posture? Her walk? Her expression?
What am I currently doing that reflects me becoming a lady?
Am I already a lady?
Defining a “lady”
How do you even define a lady?
Do you evaluate all the women around you?
If I had to define a lady, I would say she’s kind. She’s a woman who depicts a great attitude, upbeat, not overly loud, or needing attention because her energy speaks for itself.
The clothing she drapes is the outside maintenance. Her money well spent.
But it’s her attitude and way of being that truly makes her not only breathtaking but such a lady.
So poised, so careful but also so sleek.
She’s truly unique.
Like a red hot OG ladybug on an August evening.
Am I being a lady
After curating my definition, reading what I consider a “lady” to be, I think that I am growing into becoming that lady.
Meaning, I don’t want to crash out; I don’t want to argue and have problems with other people in any capacity because a lady doesn’t love everybody, but she truly doesn’t allow people to disturb her flow of life.
She handles life so much more gracefully because she’s carefully positioned. The path of life she chooses doesn’t include defeat, discouragement, or dismay. It’s positive, safe, and mindful.
A lady is mindful.
I desire to move forward in more mindful paths. Taking routes that aren’t always so chaotic or not of good worth.
A lady knows when something is not in her best interest; she steers away. She truly embraces good things for herself because she carries herself with morality, class, and dignity.
Well, what’s NOT a lady
Is it the girl who wears raunchy clothing? Is it the woman who gossips and uses foul language?
We don’t know what a lady does behind closed doors, but we can say she is very careful of her public appearance.
No, she’s not a tyrant and taunts her family or coworkers.
She’s protected her image by only showing you what she wants you to know about her because if you don’t see or hear it, you can’t say it’s her because she doesn’t give you that. She’s careful in her actions, her words, and who she desires to be.
“A careful woman is a safe lady” – C.Alilijah
I have no expertise in defining who’s not a lady, but I do know that I don’t want to be known as the lady who fights, curses, is never sober, is always in a mess, and is filled with drama.
My goal is always to present myself as the best Chandra.
And babes, it starts with growing and knowing you.
At 26, I can confidently say I have no desire to be a woman with no self-control. I grow from that woman, I heal from that woman, and take a stance as the lady I am becoming.
The simple steps
I have to be honest and transparent on this journey.
It’s starting with my expressions, smiling more, and healthily executing manners.
Showing up more for people I love, asking them how their day is going. A simple way to show I am thinking of you or calling them for a quick chat because I want to talk to them.
Being mindful of what I eat and ingest, considering it in my diet. Maybe more calm house tunes to keep me moving instead of music that makes me want to party.
Not engaging in every conversation because it doesn’t involve my input, being careful of what I say. Moving with more “intent”. That’s the lady I want to become.
Look-wise, I embrace being a woman; sometimes I’m very girly and chic. Then sometimes I am sexy and experimental. When I dress nice, my attitude matches. I got that down pat; now it’s about being more expressive as a lady with my mannerisms, not just looking nice but confident with it. It’s a beautiful journey.
Confident ladies not only depict their style but also their personality, creating an enticing, cohesive look. From what she says to how she even sits. She’s a lady.
So, what’s next, “Ms.Lady”
Elevation.
When you feel God shaking the till around you, conversations get real. Reflection gets serious. Discoveries become reality.
Things you need to know get loud.
Things you need to see become visible.
You truly grow into who you need to become for the next level.
You can’t get to that level if you’re going over the old pages and not holding yourself accountable for change.
Start with you.
With love
C.Alilijah