Morality or change for the sake of money?

It’s just that simple.

A lot of times, we find ourselves in hard decisions between does this align with my morality? My beliefs, or do I have to just go with it for the sake of the dollar sign being thrown in my face?

And it all happens in your 20s. Or does it start before?

When your brain is fresh and ready

As I’ve said before, you find yourself in situations where you’re new to scenes, new degree, new style, new fresh attitude.

You’re optimistic, you’re ready for that moment to shine.

However, sometimes the “dream job” or the ideal title isn’t that great when you get in it and realize – What exactly am I doing?

How far am I willing to go?

Throughout a lot of moments in my career, I have found myself questioning decisions, asking leadership, even, “Are you sure?”- they don’t like that.

Did she really question us? Yeah, because I just learned in college XYZ and now you’re telling me “YZ with a dash of capitalism”. That’s another story for another day.

However, over time you realize that life is a numbers game

Or is it? Is it really a numbers game, or has American society built up the idea that the most important part of your job is your analytics? Not your mind that helped you learn that skill, or how well you complete projects in a fashionable manner.

It’s more so, “Did you make that sell?”

Everything is a sale

Regular people are selling their soul everyday, you don’t have to really get on a stage and sing a hit song to be a soul seller.

I know that sounds so insane, but it’s true.

Think about it.

The moment you compromise your time to stay late, for the job to finish those data points, you’re telling “the machine” – I’ll compromise my family time with you – to be here and make this money. You’ll do anything.

The moment you cut your teammate by the throat, you have already let the dirty game make you a dirty player. You’ll do anything.

The moment you let the job say, “Hey, you can’t wear your hair like that, or you need to change your hair to this style because it’s more professional” you have already let the system control your appearance. You’ll do anything.

The moment you allow a title or a degree to define your self-worth, and make you feel you’re “better” than the average, you have let the system dictate your sense of humanity. You’ll do anything.

Some people are in relationships, selling themselves to an idea that this individual or title is worth it, but are completely unhappy because society has told them, “YOU GOT TO BE MARRIED. YOU GOT TO HAVE THIS TITLE TO BE SEEN AS A REAL ADULT,” if not, you’re just single and alone. “Which is sooooo weird.”

You’ll do anything.

I think you get the point

But don’t get me wrong. I am not here to make you not get a degree; I am not here to degrade the American work system.

I am pointing out the obvious.

It’s all just a dream. Some truly do benefit, but at what cost?

The winners and losers

Who are the winners and losers?

Society can say the winners are those who got their degrees, went on to work in their field, have a family and have a 410K. They got “it”.

But what about the people who did get their degree, did work in their field and found out, “I don’t know what this is about anymore”. Where do they stand?

Or the people who never stood a chance from the very beginning because the system already has a set of “losers” who aren’t going to be positioned to win in no capacity because “we gotta have a group that loses”.

What you saying Chan?

It’s all a lottery system. There are some people who are going to automatically win, and others are going to “be stuck”. I am not stuck, though. I am writing blog posts about how the system is rigged.

However, thank God I have the Most High

And a family who cares about me dearly. I am a part of the “privileged” group. Yes, I am a Black American woman, but I am privileged as well.

I went to the best schools in my neighborhood, I went to college, I actually finished, and I have worked in my field.

Plus, I have a great mother and family who have always been my support system and have provided me with not only material gain and support but also the morality and integrity to hold it in place.

I don’t succeed because of the jobs on my resume, but the skills and mindset that God has provided for me.

Which is a privilege to have and a blessing to accept with full grace.

I’m a walking success story, but at what cost?

I would be lying if I wasn’t transparent

It started in elementary school, and I was one of those smart kids. The ones with the good grades, I came to school on time, and I wore my uniform every single day.

It was fifth grade, actually fourth, “You need to take that test and go to one of those “better” middle schools.”

What is a “better” middle school in Detroit?

Do they even exist now?

Back to my long but short story, they said, “You’re a smart kid, and you need to be around more smart kids.” See, my elementary school was merging with the “Coffee kids”. It wasn’t spelled like actual coffee, but the school been closed for so long, the building probably doesn’t even exist anymore – I don’t remember the spelling of the name.

Maybe, I’ll just Google it.

Anyway, we were merging with a “rough” neighborhood school, and when that typically happens, it can have an impact on the next school. I’ve seen and experienced it twice.

There goes that game being played.

Kill a good school by adding a bunch of students who are not at high reading levels, have a low-income background and they don’t come to school because guess what?

The system was made for them to fail

Kill two birds with one stone, destroy the good school too. Now you have only one neighborhood school, and it’s a bunch of chaos because how dare my mom pack me a lunch in my brand new lunchbox, but you’re eating that nasty pizza and milk for lunch at 10:39 a.m.

See what happens?

You create a classism war

Now the kids who parents are middle class don’t want their kids going to a school where the classroom has 30 kids. The “rough” kid who didn’t go to bed last night because his parents were up fighting or he has to stay up all night and baby sit his little siblings because his parents are just not trying to be behind on rent another month. After all, if they do – they’re homeless.

He’s in class now, tired and most likely hungry and angry. He’s labeled a “problem child” and probably has an IEP, and teachers hate to see him coming.

He’s so disruptive that he bullies the kids who aren’t even bothering him. Everybody catching a stray, don’t you dare wear some better shoes than him, he may throw a pencil at you and hit you in the head FOR NO REASON.

True story.

Now your mom is coming up to your school like…. “What’s going on? What’s up with him? Why is he attacking my child?”

But the school is like, “trying to work with him” because they know he’s safer there than anywhere else, and he just doesn’t know any better.

Oh, and it’s a numbers game, so they really need his enrollment because finding another kid to replace him will cost too much.

Oh. Wait a minute.

Another full circle moment?

Do you see what I mean? Everyone, even the teacher making maybe $42,000 a year, has a selling point. She’s not going to keep reporting that kid because while he may get on her darn nerves, she knows the school needs enrollment.

Oh, and don’t forget that we’re having a merger.

We have the “ rough” neighborhood kids coming in, and they’re just as bad, so she may as well “get used to it” because not only do they throw pencils, but they throw desks and will have a teacher out for months.

Bye-bye, science teacher.

The good teachers are leaving; they can’t do this, “ghetto mess” anymore.

I am just a “kid”

Well, I am seeing all this go on, and I am in like fifth grade, and I see the decline. I see the effect of dang, “maybe the Coffee kids should’ve stayed where they were,” but don’t get me wrong, I made some new friends.

They’re scary, kinda bossy, but also kinda cool. They like Willow Smith, “Whip My Hair” too, they like wearing designer clothes and the color pink too.

We get along pretty well. Does her cousin possibly knock people out during recess… yes. But, she’s really cool though.

(I truly hope she’s doing well)

“You not like these kids, take the test”

I don’t remember the year, but I do know my mom was over the shenanigans. Parent-teacher conferences were no longer about my progress; it was more like “Hey, Chandra is smart. She needs to apply to Ludington MAGNET Middle School.”

RIP TO LUDINGTON MAGNET MIDDLE SCHOOL

(We will get to that) another full circle? Lol

I took the test because I mean, school is no longer about academics. I’ve been exposed to about 20 fights in the last few months.

My pencil case, MY BRAND NEW PENCIL CASE, full of pencils, new erasers and that cool sharpener got stolen.

However, the bullying eased because, mind you, I am friends with the girl who cousin, “Don’t play,” so we good, plus she ain’t a sucker either.

But class is no longer about learning. Reading books? My English teacher is aggravated; she only caters to the “smart kids”.

Science? We had a sub the entire year, remember they jacked my home room teacher up!

Breaking up a fight, she HURT herself. Permanent sub? I am not getting paid enough for this.

Some folks aren’t selling their peace for the price.

My previous friends were already gone. The middle-class parents left the city, “no more good schools in the city”. So, why am I still here?

Despite living only five minutes away.

I got in

Now, with the “uppity Black folk”, two-parent households, and good jobs, I sorta fit in. I am not a “well-off” kid, but my mom makes pretty decent money for a single mother, and my grandma does live with us, too.

It wasn’t a great transition, a girl called me out of my name, I slapped her “playfully,” or was it a “f around and find out” type of thing because I was just around ole girl who I knew wasn’t afraid to stand up for herself…

Oop! I got suspended

Told I shouldn’t be slapping folks despite her calling me out of my name. The folks at school were like, “oh, you something”, “let me watch out, so I won’t get slapped”.

Probably should’ve kept my hands to myself, but guess what? Ain’t nobody mess with me.

I also got my old friend back, but she’s the niece to the principal

So now I really gotta be careful because technically I am the girl who slaps folks.

However, my friend and I have a good school year, and we’re pretty close.

I didn’t get in trouble again, except for my shoes. Wow, a girl can’t wear her new Chucks because of the white soles.

This school is STRICT! Are we in prison?

You can’t even wear a striped sweater, and Abercrombie and Fitch just started selling them!

Who cares, though? I just started wearing Aeropostale, so I am “behind” in the trendy brand game.

But I do own a pair of new Uggs, the new iPod Touch and every other trendy thing I begged my mom to get because kids got “money”.

Am I happier now?

Yeah, I guess. I got a new best friend, and I don’t see fights. My teachers care a lot, I am learning a lot, lowkey I was smart, now I am intelligent.

The shift did work.

However, while our alumni do go on to the merit high schools like Renaissance and Cass and then to MSU and the University of Michigan…

Our school is broke.

We eat lunch in gym.

The paint is chipping, the playground has one basketball hoop, because I mean, we only care about books, right?

Those book nerds don’t need a basketball rim! Our computer lab has computers, but they’re probably like 10 years old. And one of the keyboards has keys missing.

Bad news

We have to close our building. What does that mean? Teachers, parents, and the principal are trying to save it because they know… It’s coming.

The merger.

Just a few blocks down 7 Mile, we have the “neighborhood school”.

I can’t get a break from these neighborhood kids! Mind you, I live off 7 Mile too, but jeez, why does this keep happening?

Am I carrying this merger vibe?

Anyway, so it comes down to “you leaving or you ready to merge with this new school”, all over again?

What other middle school am I going to? Absolutely not Bates.

Side note: Bates still exists to this day, maybe they were the better school (lol)

I mean, you only got two years left, finish it out

At what cost?

Principal leaves, I got all the tea. Mind you, I am friends with the principal’s niece.

She came too, but we’re not in the same class.

“Oh, you’re in the ‘bad grade class’,” why? I made good grades at the other school.

What made me less?

Okay.

Why did 7th grade feel like 5th grade all over again, but now I got other smart folks who peep the bullcrap too. So, I am not totally alone.

Now it’s classism war part two, but between kids

Because now, the other kids recognize my privilege. “Oh, you broke, you ain’t got on real Minnetonka,” they checking the bottom of our shoes.

Are you kidding me?

Why am I proving my mom got money to a girl whose mom is on Section 8?

Our moms are both single mothers, though. Mine’s just has a degree and better money management.

Sigh.

Are we paying attention in school now?

Because now we got fights, the classism war and a dash of colorism. “You’re cute cause you light skin, you’re cute too, Chandra, you just need your hair done.”

Sorry, I don’t wear weave, and my mom doesn’t know a reputable braider.

She’s old school.

Alright, what’s going on?

I went from being at the “bad school” to being at the “good school” to going to a “what the heck school”.

Mentally, I am all over the place. My friend is in the “better” classroom; I am in the “okay classroom” because while these kids were mouthy, they were pretty smart, just as smart as the others.

It felt more like we were in a test classroom. The weed-out classroom. Some were going to make it and some weren’t.

I didn’t slap anybody this year, I probably should’ve, but I did go off

Because girl don’t bring up my daddy.

“I didn’t mean to disrespect your dad.” When they can’t attack your mind, they go for things you can’t control.

My dad passed away when I was in elementary school. I was jokingly talking to this boy who was talking smack to me first and I said something smart back because you get tired.

This girl decided to defend him because, for one. She never liked me anyway, I was from the other school, and “we thought we were better than them”.

So she took an opportunity, and I went off on her. I started crying and got sent to the office.

Typical.

I got coined “Class Crybaby” in the 8th grade yearbook, but hey, at least I didn’t get coined as something worse that actually did make me cry. Thanks for including me. Wow, I feel popular.

Oh yeah, I had finally made it to the big leagues in 8th grade, I was finally in the “better classroom” with all the “real” smart kids, competing to get good grades and acceptance letters from Renaissance or Cass. King too.

Finally, we made it to Renaissance

Boy, was it a JOURNEY.

I finally made it to the top high school in Detroit; my friend went to Cass. But a nice group of us went to Renaissance.

We met the Bates kids.

But, man, why was this journey so chaotic?

But remember, only a nice group of us went to Renaissance or Cass.

What group do you think went to those schools?

The originals.

And a few of the newbies we met along the way. Even one of the girls I went to elementary school with from Coffee made it to Cass.

But think about this.

I never saw my friend with the “don’t play” cousin again. The folks who stole my pencil case, or the bullies.

Don’t get me wrong, Ludington had its own set of bullies, and so did Renaissance, but they weren’t attackers.

More so, uppity boujee kids with parents who made good money and cared about their well-being.

While we may have been middle class in Detroit, there was still another type of “Black middle class” – the suburban Black kids whose parents don’t work at the plant, or own a small business. Nah, these are the “doctors”, the Black pilots, the tech start-ups.

College and classism

The real classism eye opener.

You’re not middle-class for real. You’re “working middle class,” well, if you grew up in Detroit and went to inner city schools, if we’re being honest. And that’s subjective, but when FAFSA gives the girl next to you $0 and you get $1,000, that speaks volumes.

DEI didn’t exist for no reason. The low-income program didn’t exist for no reason.

We were never at the best schools in the capitalist system

Because guess what? They were only “better” compared to what surrounded us because they weren’t made to be “good”.

And do you see why they weren’t good? They took the “good kids out,” put them all together, but then broke them up, too, by merging or making their parents move.

In actuality, we were a part of the lottery system that “won”.

Remember, it’s losers and winners?

It was amazing and a blessing to have parents, teachers, and a village to help us get us where we needed to be, but at what cost?

Don’t get me wrong, I am satisfied with the education I received.

It’s just that every time we won, someone lost. Every time we sat in a seat, someone lost a seat.

“That’s just life, Chan.”

It’s actually not normal and very man-made

Another human shouldn’t be able to dictate what your success looks like.

This isn’t about parents.

This is about the concept that society and the machine say, “You need to do this, do that, to be deemed successful?”

Who tf are you?

I had to say it.

That’s the problem – the control

You really want to control their person, but you control their destiny.

Sadly, though, it’s not even the destiny being controlled; it’s really the mind.

Think music, movies and what you consume. That’s another story for another day.

However, the point I am trying to make is

The moment we got out of our mother’s womb, we’ve been paying a cost to achieve something.

Our parents have either made it easy for us or made no way at all, because instead of our parents making a way, the system did. Your parent was just a victim.

Why does this matter in 2026?

Alright, I am a 25-year-old woman, and I have my own small business now. I am moving into another sector of “success,” and it’s the same pattern just in another form, but with more technicalities.

When are we going to be free from the system that truly doesn’t benefit us?

Or can we just do us, our way, and let God be our guide?

Does that work?

It’s something I have to come back to in the next few years with a report, but I can confidently say that the last 25 years of my life have been good, but also very costly in some capacity.

Rather, it was good cost or bad, I know now for me -I am not paying a price for my peace, though, especially the peace God has given me.

I’ve lost the “game” a few times, but I’ve gained so much more from God with every loss of this fictitious world. So, as I said earlier, this isn’t a bashing of society or an anti-corporate rant; it’s just a piece to ask yourself: