Your wife is calling.
I am eating Lotus Biscoff cookies, thinking about how sweet your love is going to be.
(Not really, I’m just eating some cookies)
What is a love bug?
It’s a pretty bug, I guess. I don’t know, a pet name. Something, I would call my lover, should I call you a bug? That may be problematic, but let’s get crazy.
Let’s dig into one of Chandra’s “weird takes”. There’s a bug following me.
I am not going to say which bug because it’s for my person. They’re not here, but a bug has been following me for a while now.
It has a lot of legs. I am actually scared of it. Well, I was. I’ve started to embrace it because it’s not as scary. It’s unique, it’s cool. I like it.
It makes me feel like I am on the right path when I see it. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to run into a huge one, with one of those big backs, but the tiny kind is cool.
The love bug.
Is love following me?
What does that look like? I am super single, just writing blogs all day, talking to God about love and drinking coffee. That’s such a 25-year old thing?
I hated coffee.
Now, I can’t stop. Everyday once I get to the end of my cup, I get sad because all the coffee is gone. Now I have to wait until the next day for more coffee, sigh.
Does your love make me feel like that?
Am I waiting each day to grow closer to you?
Oh my! If my lover ever read this, I would pass out. Literally, he probably thinks I am weird or crazy. I don’t know.
Maybe I should say how I feel and not try to be metaphorical. Just say it!
Just say it! You never know. Let the universe hear it, accept it. The love bug is not following you around for no reason! Say it, girl!
Alright, it’s January 2026, and I am in love.
Okay, nahh see!
Okay, I know that God is preparing me to BE in love
And what does that feel like, what does it sound like?
It’s cheesy. It’s so cheesy, but once the love bug starts following you around. You can’t help but feel like you’re not alone anymore. It’s that little confirmation that something is coming, and it’s nice, it’s love.
Everything you start to do involves love, whether it’s wanting to be a better daughter to your mom, a better niece to your aunts and uncles, or a better cousin, or even a better friend. The love bug is intentional.
It softens you
It feels like protection, that no matter how scary it seems, eventually it’s no longer scary when you’re faced with it. It’s all in the mind.
You want to be a softer woman, not a punk, but you don’t want to live hard.
You accept that you want someone to be there with you in this thing called life. You even listen to music differently; love songs feel personal.
You don’t like sad songs anymore or songs about defeat in love because the love bug is singing a different tune.
Your mind feels refreshed
It’s a breath of fresh air, a breath of air that says, “Welcome that love into your life”, “Welcome this new chapter with ease”, don’t be fearful.
Love was scary for me. I’d never experienced a true love story until I loved myself.
Such typical 25-year-old writer girl stuff.
It’s true, I was that 20-year-old girl chasing love. Women don’t chase love; the love bug finds them.
He wants you
“DM him first”, no.
It works for some, but the man that God has for you, will find you.
You can try to expedite the process, but the package will always arrive when it’s supposed to. And being honest, we’re not always ready for it, either, but see, our father knows that.
Being in a relationship isn’t elementary
Social media can make relationships look very childish and so pretty. That’s the point.
At 19, I thought I knew what I wanted. No, what I needed.
I always go back to the love at 19, because it was my first time doing the love thing, and it sucked. I was a victim to stupidity of my own dumb decisions. Some influences, some moments of “you knew better”, but we progress.
We move on, but I look at the girl at 19, and I tell her, “Know you, baby, and own her. Don’t let no man get you out of character when he doesn’t even have character or anything to lose.”
I spent years pissed, sad, and recently I was mad at that girl, “How dumb can you be?”
Yeah, she ain’t know any better, but she knew better. So you do better.
Because relationships aren’t elementary, it’s pretty fun and should be, but love is soulful. Let’s talk about it.
Soulful love
Imma try to get as deeep as possible. Might even cry.
*takes a deep breath* My mom is laughing, not sure I can do this.
Okay, let’s get back in the groove.
I’m staring at the keyboard, maybe not. It’s okay, maybe next time. Try again tomorrow.
Uh, I don’t know? Do I?
I do. Let’s do it.
Say it.
Okay.
*another deep breath*
*Looks out the window, realizes I am staring at my neighbor’s bricks*
Is that a sign? Let me change the perspective.
Alright, now we’re looking at an Amazon truck, “let us save you the trip”, whatever that means. Am I distracted?
Girl, get to the POINT. We’re waiting. Am I scared of my own words? Did I girl boss too hard in the beginning?
Give the people what they want. You’re losing them! Hehe
Ooh, there’s so much snow outside. Maybe I should sit on the floor. If I had some coffee, I bet I would’ve done it by now.
Alright, yeah, I need you to understand that and not think it’s weird. I want you to sit with me and not judge me. I need you to understand that sometimes I don’t know what to say, and I say random things to cope. To understand that I have a lot to say, but sometimes I don’t know how to say it perfectly.
Why is my mom playing music right, and I am secretly crying!
I am just Chandra, passionate about fashion, Hello Kitty, writing, shopping, crafts, DIY projects, and Kaytranada. My doggy Snowball, who uses my room as his. I still live with my mom, I hope you understand that.
I wanted to give one of those deep messages about soulful love, but it truly begins with being seen. The tears are coming, ahh.
If this were being recorded, I would’ve cut the cameras.
Right here, right neow.
I’ve always hidden who I was with men, well, boys, not because I was ashamed, but I was scared. I was scared of being judged, scared of being seen, scared of feeling like they wouldn’t accept me for me. And it ended up being costly in the end, for both parties, because I am a cool girl.
Dang, too bad!
Because with the right man, it’s going to come naturally. I won’t put up a facade. He may never read this, but I want him to know I knew his soul before I knew him.
That’s some real scary ish to say, it is. Do I know what I’m saying? Yes, it’s been a journey. I know that love is nearing me, it’s knocking at my front door with a love letter stating, “Hey, love bug, I am here.”
You took a very long time, by the way, but it wasn’t in vain, right?
You’re getting the best me! Right?
Kinda. Probably, I am in my icon era. Truly.
You’re getting the total Chan
The quirky hottie from Detroit. The fashonista, the blogger who can’t stfu. The baker, who just wants to make you cookies, have a good diet plan already, hehe.
The crafty girl who just wants to show you her crafts, they have will no context sometimes, but that’s the beauty of it. The 3 a.m. conspiracy theorist, who definitely should’ve gone to bed, but too bad!
The sassy Black girl who don’t play no games, try again. I am from 7 Mile, don’t forget that, at all. It’s true.
I keep it cute, but don’t test me.
*fake laugh*
So, what is a soulful love
Staring out the window again, lol.
It’s not a box. It’s not seen everywhere, that’s why it’s hard to describe.
Maybe I gotta wait for you to help me further define it. Maybe you’re that missing piece.
I just know it’s not a cheap love, it can’t be bought, it can only be written by God, right?
It feels different before it even comes to fruition.
“Get a load of this lady”
Maybe I wrote this for the other hopeful romantic ladies and guys. Or maybe I wrote this for you.
The thought of my future husband seeing this is WACK. Wack sauce, apple sauce. (I don’t like apple sauce at all)
I don’t know why, well, I initially wrote it because the love bug is following me. EEEP.
But, I don’t want to say I don’t know because I feel like I do. I feel like you’re near and I am okay with that.
It may sound crazy to some, but it’s not meant for them. The one who is supposed to see this will see it and will respond.
Are you manifesting a boyfriend? WTF
No! Absolutely not, I am just speaking it into existence, there’s a difference.
You know when you know, and that’s the beauty of it.
What if his parents see this, his friends? First impression, gone down the drain, huh.
“She’s nutty boots.” Let me make sure to publish this on the same day as I release my personal narrative about social media for balance. You never know who’s watching!
*nervous laugh*
No, but honestly, I’ve “manifested” a boyfriend before, and it looked like me going on dating apps. That didn’t end well for me, and it taught me that nobody should position themselves in a pool where people judge you based on your looks and a few personality questions.
It may work for some, but for me, and what God has for me, I learned more lessons than gaining blessings. Well, the lessons were the blessings.
It’s a preference, but I would never put myself back in that. You truly don’t know what you’re getting sometimes, and honestly, some men don’t value the woman. They value the roulette of it.
Soo, how are you going to meet the love bug himself
Yeah, I don’t go out as much as I used to. I don’t have a lot of friends to hang out with, where attractive available men who are worth more than a $2 bag of cheddar and sour cream chips from Kroger would also hang out at.
I can’t slide in the DMs, I am not famous. But, “Helloooo, have you seen my page?”, I am kinda too cool for that. And I would never slide ever again, ain’t no ugly man dissing me again. Tuh?
So, hmm will he randomly show up to my 9-5? I hope not! That would be insane. Are you stalking me?
Isle 3 at Dollar Tree? Don’t get me wrong, I always see a few snacks at Dollar Tree, but last time I gave my number out, on isle 3, he had a WHOLE family.
You can’t hide the truth from a journalist. I am an investigator at heart. My spidey senses will always tell me.
Uh, love letter in the mail?
Uh, that’s sweet, but I don’t know if I should be freaked out or just accept my fate because let’s not go into details.
I am not “waiting”, well, I am, but no
What I mean by I am not waiting is that I am not allowing my life or daily activities to pause for this man to show up. Like I said earlier, I know I’m being followed by the LOVE BUG, so love is in my path. However, I am not tampering with the process or casually dating randoms until…
Hmmph
Let me just say this: I am pretty hot. I talked about this last weekend. I’m single for a reason, right?
I know that God doesn’t just want anyone for me; I truly believe he is saving me for the one. They may try to cross my path like counterfeiters, but so far, I haven’t had a man in the last year that made me feel like, “Yeah, that’s the love bug himself, it’s you.”
So, I am letting time do its thing and letting God place us in each other’s walk of life at the right time. However, I know that the time is nearing because it’s less than 30 degrees outside, and I saw the love bug. It was tiny, but a friendly reminder.
bYE.
See you soon,
Love,
CHAN
Oh! Wait, I also need (desire) a date for a wedding in April. So , maybe you should expedite yourself life bug….
*fake laugh*
I am dead serious.