Girl, it’s just a day, get over it.
You’re not going to be alone anyway! You’re finna sell crafts for your small business, the customers are your Valentines>
The prettiest people are always “alone” on Valentine’s Day
Let me not sound pretentious. Actually, let me get to my favorite writing spot so we can get to the true chocolate-covered strawberries of it all. This has to sound sexy, and I only have 30 minutes, well, 25 to finish it.
Alright, it’s Friday
It’s Friday, February 6th? I am drinking an alcohol-free raspberry drink from my aunt’s house in a tiny wine glass. I guess we’re doing dry February, too.
I should’ve realized earlier, I didn’t have a blog post planned for today, aka the love letter era. Instead, I came home after my shift at H&M and danced around to 42 Dugg while making a mockup notebook cover. It’s totally not finished, but I definitely was jamming.
I used to spend my Fridays at the bar, dancing away, drinking $14 cocktails. Now, I’ve turned into a homebody who just makes coffee, drinks “fake” wine, and listens to house music and rap occasionally. (I was never dancing away at the bar)
Did I not use my time wisely
I mean… I went to college, THE coolest college in Michigan. GO GREEN! GO WHITE! I had suitors, I had men taking down my box braids at 1 a.m.
How did I get this single?
Was it the attitude? Was I not picky enough? Well, I was quite picky; if I wasn’t, I am sure I would’ve been married by now.
Was I too rude at the bars? I mean, I did graduate early, and the man I thought was my husband probably wondered, “Oh no, where did she go?” It’s okay, Louhas Bae, maybe in another lifetime.
Even when I graduated to Deluxx Fluxx, I was at least friendly. (I will never return to Deluxx Fluxx) Too many nights in that dang sticky basement. Great times though, but 25-year-old Chan rather snuggle on the couch with her blanket and watch YouTube videos and drink “fake” wine and have occasional characterie chats with her mom.
I grew up so fast.
I never wanted a “bar” man
Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with going out, partying, going to the bar, and having a nice, peaceful time. However, as I’ve gotten older and tried to meet men in person, like at bars or local events. Or Isle 3 at Dollar Tree.
I came to the realization…
I don’t want the “bar” man. Or the overly social man.
He’s a cool guy, but then you see him like OUT SO MUCH, and it’s like… nah. I am good.
I saw a guy get turned down one night in the line for The Brakeman, and then tried to talk to me. I am not cheap.
I said, “No, I am okay,” and something in me then said, “Yeah, this isn’t going to work”.
My husband isn’t at the bar.
He’s also not at Dollar Tree.
It’s not that he’s a bad guy, but he’s the man who just loves to fish; he’s fishing everywhere, trying to find that one, and honestly, I am not trying to get pulled by him. I am more valuable than that.
The man I do desire
I already wrote about him, and I believe he’s totally receivable; he’s just taking his time. His sweet time. God, what’s up?
Is this punishment for ditching sales on Valentine’s Day to be with my then bf, who I shouldn’t have been with anyway…
When I look at it like that, I don’t feel as bad. It makes it feel full circle anyway. A moment of, “Never put a man before your money.” Especially when the orders were coming in…faithfully.
Sigh, you live, and you learn.
The tacos weren’t even good.
So, you’re alone on Valentine’s Day
Not me, I’ll be asking if you want a free lollipop if you follow my small business on social media.
To the girls and guys who are – it’s okay.
It is just another day, another corporate holiday that’s making money. Truly. It’s just another day.
I saw a Threads post that said, “a good man will make every day feel like Valentine’s Day”, something along those lines.
Yes, I am coping.
The post is true tho
A good man, to your definition, will make every day feel like a lovely day for you. Just by being there for you, supporting your goals, your aspirations, telling you, “Hey, love bug. Make your money, I’ll be there for you. Let me help you bake, sell, or how can I support you?”
I wish that 20-year-old Chan knew that.
*Deep breath of regret*
I’ve moved on, don’t worry about me, but sometimes I do wish I treated that 20-year old woman with better self-love and care. Because the tacos weren’t that good.
I love Locos… not Mesa…
One day
Soon, yes, say soon. Know and believe that there is someone who knows your favorite taco spot and takes you there because they know you like it.
Soon, someone will know your favorite candy and buy it because you enjoy it.
This man knows you like houseplants because they don’t die fast if you water them correctly and add old coffee grounds…
It’s coming, it’s coming. It’s already in pursuit, it’s already in the mail.
It’s arriving at your front door with the most beautiful message that says, “I was made for you, and you were made for me. Let’s do this life thing together.”
So, to that woman specifically, whoever reads this –
“You’re not just special on that one day to that man, you’re specutular everyday to the right man” – C.Alilijah
Going to take a bubble bath and cry!
Good night.
XOXO,
With love,
C.Alilijah