{"id":8585,"date":"2026-05-13T06:51:00","date_gmt":"2026-05-13T10:51:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/chandraalilijah.com\/?p=8585"},"modified":"2026-05-15T23:24:44","modified_gmt":"2026-05-16T03:24:44","slug":"the-year-of-reality-checks-by-c-alilijah","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chandraalilijah.com\/index.php\/2026\/05\/13\/the-year-of-reality-checks-by-c-alilijah\/","title":{"rendered":"the year of reality checks by. C.Alilijah"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Alright, another blog, another post. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>About 25.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>My frontal lobe truly did its thing. Or did I just wake up? <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Let\u2019s Get Into It <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Going back to the basics <\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>I\u2019ve said this before, 25 is a love letter to your childhood. Actually, the whole 20s is. If you play the cards well, you&#8217;re dealt a better strategy each year.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cYou\u2019re young go buck wild!\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cDate any and everybody!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cBe a \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>That\u2019s what that sounds like, because in reality, if you\u2019re working, focusing on hobbies, spending family time, you can\u2019t maintain a roster.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>A roster was something I had when I was bored and had an opportunity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Now? Give me the one man who\u2019s about me, and I am about him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">That\u2019s bettering your mindset and protecting your body <\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>At this age, your body is forever changing. I\u2019ve had four or five different shapes for the last couple of years. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Too thick, too hippy, too skinny, thick again. Then too skinny, and now we\u2019re here. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>As my body changes, so does my mindset. It all goes together, and respectfully, I see myself as a woman of great power.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Meaning I can\u2019t let just any man get a taste of the power. He has to be a specific man, and I can\u2019t allow myself to share my power with anybody while I am with the specific man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-pale-pink-color has-text-color\">Recommended Posts <\/h2>\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-latest-posts__list wp-block-latest-posts\"><li><a class=\"wp-block-latest-posts__post-title\" href=\"https:\/\/chandraalilijah.com\/index.php\/2026\/05\/15\/the-party-is-ending-by-c-alilijah\/\">the party is ending by. C.Alilijah<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a class=\"wp-block-latest-posts__post-title\" href=\"https:\/\/chandraalilijah.com\/index.php\/2026\/05\/14\/thrifting-for-multimedia-in-2026\/\">Thrifting for multimedia in 2026<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a class=\"wp-block-latest-posts__post-title\" href=\"https:\/\/chandraalilijah.com\/index.php\/2026\/05\/13\/the-year-of-reality-checks-by-c-alilijah\/\">the year of reality checks by. C.Alilijah<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a class=\"wp-block-latest-posts__post-title\" href=\"https:\/\/chandraalilijah.com\/index.php\/2026\/05\/12\/what-should-i-even-write-about-today-by-c-alilijah\/\">what should I even write about today by. C.Alilijah<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a class=\"wp-block-latest-posts__post-title\" href=\"https:\/\/chandraalilijah.com\/index.php\/2026\/05\/11\/building-our-website-as-a-small-business-owner-in-2026\/\">Building our website as a small business owner in 2026<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Did I learn anything<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>That\u2019s growth. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When you look at the past, you say, \u201cAt 23, why did I find that acceptable?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It wasn\u2019t. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Throwing myself into the dating scene, dating apps, trying to find the \u201cone\u201d. I didn\u2019t even know what I desired in a man besides, \u201cLet\u2019s go here, let\u2019s go there, let\u2019s hang out over ice cream.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>My first coffee shop date wasn\u2019t horrible, but his breath was stinky.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You live, and you learn. Maybe it wasn\u2019t my dating season.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Going back to the script <\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>This isn\u2019t a drag session of the questionable dates I went on. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It\u2019s an eye-opener that while you may think you need a \u201cpartner,\u201d you may need to learn a new language.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>A better term to define what you actually desire.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Chan desires a lover <\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>I don\u2019t want a business partner, respectfully. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Yes, we can talk about my business when I am unsure and need guidance, but we don\u2019t have to run the business together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Be my voice of reason, my voice of peace. Provide me with compassion. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>A lot of times, we think we want someone to be a part of everything we do, but better efforts are when they\u2019re adjacent. They\u2019re providing moral and emotional support. Not hands-on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Because when business has its hard moments, I need you right next to me, not failing with me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But that\u2019s not what this is about. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">At 25, I stopped people pleasing <\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>I let go. I let go of so much, including friendships, connections, conversations, and even organizations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I truly stopped trying to be a part of everything and allowing any and everybody in my life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You get tired of trying to hear yourself but it\u2019s too noisy. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I felt like that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The connections I had were pretty good while they lasted, but I needed a break from the noise. I desired more clarity in my life, and it truly began with what I entertained.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Not everything was adding value; some of it was taking more than adding.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I woke up. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">And boy did it get quiet <\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>My life is very quiet. You would think I went ghost.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It\u2019s so quiet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But it\u2019s peaceful. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I think it took too many nights being annoyed at the club, and ordering $13 drinks with a tip.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Or too many, \u201cWow, I love this\u201d comments on Instagram to realize, \u201cI actually don\u2019t love this.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I stopped trying to be everyone\u2019s friend, their safe space, and made a safe space for myself, and I love it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The disconnection added so much connection to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And it\u2019s beautiful. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Quiet, but peaceful. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">If it disrespects my peace <\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>It has no room in my life. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Jobs, opportunities, people, men, anything. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I no longer desire to fit in; <em>I never did.<\/em> I no longer desire to be friends because of \u201chistory\u201d, no. I no longer desire to fake like I want to be a part because of how it looks. No, thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>That\u2019s what 25 has brought on me. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Some would say, is that just being antisocial? Are you too alone now?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>No, because I know that God is bringing me something else. He doesn\u2019t remove without bringing you what you really need. He knows who\u2019s going to be around for the long run and what was just a season.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And that\u2019s power.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And I let God be my copilot. Removing, adding, removing, adding, and guiding.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>With love,<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>C.Alilijah <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>My frontal lobe truly did develop. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":8604,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"wprm-recipe-roundup-name":"","wprm-recipe-roundup-description":"","apple_news_api_created_at":"","apple_news_api_id":"","apple_news_api_modified_at":"","apple_news_api_revision":"","apple_news_api_share_url":"","apple_news_cover_media_provider":"image","apple_news_coverimage":0,"apple_news_coverimage_caption":"","apple_news_cover_video_id":0,"apple_news_cover_video_url":"","apple_news_cover_embedwebvideo_url":"","apple_news_is_hidden":"","apple_news_is_paid":"","apple_news_is_preview":"","apple_news_is_sponsored":"","apple_news_maturity_rating":"","apple_news_metadata":"\"\"","apple_news_pullquote":"","apple_news_pullquote_position":"","apple_news_slug":"","apple_news_sections":[],"apple_news_suppress_video_url":false,"apple_news_use_image_component":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1,371,6],"tags":[755,685,377,533,311,836,813,120,206,38],"class_list":["post-8585","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-posts","category-self-care-blog-posts","category-whats-new","tag-20-somethings","tag-c-alilijah","tag-friendships","tag-growth","tag-lifestyle","tag-maturity","tag-may-2026","tag-motivation","tag-self-love","tag-tips"],"apple_news_notices":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>the year of reality checks by. 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