{"id":6257,"date":"2026-01-04T23:57:25","date_gmt":"2026-01-05T04:57:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/chandraalilijah.com\/?p=6257"},"modified":"2026-01-04T23:57:25","modified_gmt":"2026-01-05T04:57:25","slug":"stepping-into-2026-as-the-total-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chandraalilijah.com\/index.php\/2026\/01\/04\/stepping-into-2026-as-the-total-you\/","title":{"rendered":"Stepping into 2026, as the \u201ctotal you\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Another year to become your highest self, are you ready? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Last year, we dug into the concept of becoming the \u201ctotal you\u201d, meaning stepping into a space where you embrace your uniqueness, your style, your personality in its full capacity. This year, we\u2019re still on that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Becoming the \u201ctotal you\u201d is not easy. It\u2019s a constant decision every day to show up and show out in your best form that suits you – no one else. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Are we truly in our \u201ctotal you\u201d era?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s Get Into It <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

What does the \u201ctotal you\u201d mean?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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As I\u2019ve stated before, the \u201ctotal you<\/a>\u201d is the individual who is not afraid to seek and embrace their individuality, background, personality, style, and show up as that person daily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The \u201ctotal you\u201d is free, they\u2019re an individual who lives by their own rules, choices and is not influenced by the masses.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She\u2019s not just a rebel or a nonconformist, but she\u2019s a woman who has embraced what makes her unique.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She\u2019s not afraid to show up as HER<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How do you become the \u201ctotal you\u201d <\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Becoming the \u201ctotal you\u201d involves connecting with your inner being. Who are you when no one is watching? What hobbies bring you joy? Can you describe yourself using 6-10 adjectives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Being the \u201ctotal you\u201d is not easy because most times, the person you truly are behind closed doors can be deemed as \u201cweird\u201d or \u201cnot cool\u201d in daily life. You can be an extrovert, but in a job that forces you to be an introvert.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You like house music, but all your friends enjoy rap.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite daily life putting a lot of pressure on us to perform for others and be that person everyone else wants us to be, learning the \u201ctotal you\u201d can save you a lot of heartache, money and energy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It starts with mindset<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

At 25 years old, I have no desire but to be anyone else but Chandra. I know I am not a popular girl, I know I am not a woman who enjoys going to the club or having a million men after them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I prefer to stay in on the weekends, crafting, building my brand, eating charcuterie boards and drinking wine with my mom. That\u2019s me accepting what makes me – ME.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t get me wrong, I still, every once in a while, may grab a drink at the bar and hang out with friends, but I prefer to be in the house nowadays or at least in spaces that are for growth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now, 21-year old Chandra may not have agreed with that. I spent a lot of my early years going out, having fun at the club and bars, Landshark and Deluxx Fluxx probably saw me one too many times, but over time, my mindset changed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Change is good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As you grow, you change. You should change. Change is good because it means you\u2019re maturing, you\u2019re developing into your total self.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even at 25, I can confidently say that I know by 30, my growth and who I am will only improve.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It starts with mindset. Once you find yourself no longer liking the club, aka me just standing around looking crazy, it\u2019s okay to say, \u201cThis isn\u2019t me anymore.” I find more comfort in being home. You start to realize that it\u2019s better to be honest with yourself than to please others or do things just because.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The \u201ctotal you\u201d is intentional<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

She\u2019s an intentional woman\u2026 meaning not only does she fully accept what she likes and what she doesn\u2019t, but she\u2019s careful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Careful with her words, how she carries herself, how she treats others. Being an intentional woman is key to a life of becoming the \u201ctotal you\u201d . <\/p>\n\n\n\n

You\u2019re no longer just doing things for the sake of \u201cI am young,\u201d you\u2019re more so moving at the rate of \u201chmm, I am not sure if that aligns with me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you find yourself in that alignment<\/strong>, you know what it feels like to finally know where you\u2019re headed and you don\u2019t want to lose yourself on that path because alignment feels good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Alignment feels like being at the right place at the right time and actively feeling alive there. Actively feeling like God positioned me there for a reason. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

As you develop into the \u201ctotal you\u201d, alignment is the next priority in keeping yourself sane.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The \u201ctotal you\u201d brings peace<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

What does true peace feel like, Chandra?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Baby, it feels like waking up every morning blessed and in bliss because life feels at ease. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t have to be rich, you don\u2019t have to be in the best position of work or have the fanciest things around you, but knowing you have peace is priceless.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Peace doesn\u2019t have a price tag. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Peace is not having to worry about what people think about you, what they say about you or how you\u2019re perceived because the only voice you care and hear is God\u2019s voice. The only voice that can make or break you is YOUR voice. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Peace feels like waking up every day and feeling calm. You may not have your dream job yet, but you\u2019re content – not settling.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You\u2019re content because you can show up to work every day as yourself, styled as you want, around people who support you or simply leave you alone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you start to know you, what you like, what you can tolerate and what you won\u2019t, you start to let go of what doesn\u2019t go align anymore.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s a blessing to be able to identify how it feels when something is no longer aligned with you – it disrupts your progress, your moves, you\u2019re angry, you don\u2019t want to eat, you don\u2019t feel good, every day feels like you\u2019re trying super hard to make it work, but you still feel unfilled.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s you not operating in the \u201ctotal you\u201d, it\u2019s you operating out of struggle and what society is telling you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Get out of that mindset and find you. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Go where you can be YOU, effortlessly. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Find what truly keeps you in the \u201ctotal you\u201d<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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For me, it\u2019s fashion and creativity. I can always count on a good outfit to make me feel good, to make me feel like I am in my power.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I can always count on a creative project to keep me motivated to keep going because, boy, do I love a finished project created by me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To be the \u201ctotal you\u201d, it requires you to know and execute your hobbies, plans, interests and to hold onto them. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It took me years to finally get back into paper crafting. I was so used to everything being digital that I forgot that my first passions were drawing, painting, coloring, using glue and scissors, not design software.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you\u2019re developing the \u201ctotal you,\u201d you have to know your foundation, the parts of your past that brought you success, happiness and completeness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Recommended Posts<\/h2>\n\n\n